It Keeps Me Awake
by Oilux
Summary: Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold; Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world, The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere The ceremony of innocence is drowned; -W.B. Yeats -x-x- She never dreamed she would be taken from her home, that things change so rapidly. One moment she's walking through town, making jokes, the next she's waking in bed, and the world's on fire.


Hello! On Tumblr they're having a Mabill week, and this is my contribution to that. This is for day four, a.k.a. as 'Other AU' day. I decided to go with a pirate AU, because heck, who doesn't love pirates? I promise I'm not forgetting about my other stories!

WARNING: Rape/Implied Rape (doesn't go into detail, it's more implied.

* * *

They were young when their parents decided to split them up. Young enough that they couldn't protest, but also old enough to realize what was going on. Mabel remembered looking at her brother as he went to go and live with their uncle, and being in tears as she didn't understand why he had to go.

"It's for the best." They said. "We can only feed one, and girls are so much easier than boys."

That's was why when she was twelve, Mabel took the first opportunity she could and went to her great uncle. It was dangerous for such a young girl to travel by herself, but Mabel didn't care, she wanted to see her brother again.

Arriving at the old shack wasn't what surprised her. It was knocking on the door and looking at the place she might call home, and having her brother answer the door. He looked different from when they were little.

Had he always worn a cap? Was he always that short? Mabel used to be the same height as him. Dipper's eyes widened upon seeing his sister, and for a moment, they did nothing, they just stared at each other. Years had passed since she had seen him last, and now the moment she was standing in front of him wasn't like anything she imagined.

"Dipper..." Mabel said softly. From inside the shack, she could hear Stan asking who it was, what he was doing. It was a voice she had heard only a couple times before, but it haunted her dreams, the nightmares she had when Dipper was taken away.

"Mabel?" He asked just as softly, rubbing his eyes like she might disappear if he looked away.

"Dipper!" Mabel cried, throwing herself at him in a hug.

He hugged back, and there were tears as the twins were finally reunited after years. Stanford and Stanley came forward and hugged her, and the small family finally felt like a family. When their parents come and see if she's there, Stanley lied and said she wasn't. All was good.

* * *

Mabel loved the bright sun and the roaring of waters. She loved the ocean, of everything that it was. She loved the rocking waves and going to the docks and seeing what ships were there. She has lived a sheltered life in their small village, and now being eighteen and unmarried was unheard of. Mabel didn't mind, and she was happy living with her brother and uncle in the small shack. The tiny town never got a lot of visitors, so when Mabel came down to the dock and saw the large ship, she felt as though her breath was taken away by the sight of it.

It called to her, and who was she to deny that call? Her brother and uncle wouldn't notice if she ran just a few minutes late. She walked onto the dock, looking at the large ship.

"Il Inculo." She murmured to herself as she walked up to it. She made sure to avoid the men walking past, not wanting to get in their way.

Though the ship was gorgeous, Mabel couldn't stay for long. She rushed back to town to make up for the time she lost, going back home and telling her brother and uncles of the ship at port.

Stanley and Dipper didn't care to hear about the ship, but Dipper did tell her what the name of it was. He told her it was Italian, and meant 'The Nightmare' when translated. Stan complained that the only good Dipper's books did him was let him translate ship names. Mabel rolled her eyes and ate dinner with the rest of them. For all their knowledge, no one knew it was really a pirate ship.

* * *

The sounds of screams and the heat of fire woke them from sleep. At least it woke Mabel up from her sleep. In her rush from the old shack they lived in, she only managed to grab a couple things, the items she really valued most.

"Pirates!"

"Run for it!"

People were running and screaming as they rushed past the burning shack. Even from where she was Mabel could see the rest of the town was on fire as well. Mabel didn't know if her family was still in the shack, but she knew she couldn't go back to check, she would die if she went back there.

"Aren't you a pretty little thing?" She prided herself on knowing everyone in their town, and an unfamiliar voice caught her almost off guard as the fact someone was right behind her.

"What are you doing out and about this late? Don't you know it's bad for a girl to be out this late?" Mabel turned on her heel, coming face to face with a tall, lanky, blonde haired male.

For all she wanted and all she could do, it wasn't much. Mabel tried to get away, knowing this was the man responsible for burning her village to the ground. Only captains wore such elegant cloaks and actually wore jewels. He was the one who must have given the order.

"Where ya goin' love? Party's just started." His voice was loud, and even though Mabel turned and tried to get away he easily grabbed her. Even through the thick coat and her nightgown she can feel the muscles in his arms when it wrapped around her. It caught around her like a vice, keeping her from running.

"Let me go, you bastard!" Mabel screamed, and the pirate holding her just laughed. The few items in her hands fell to the ground, more than likely never to be seen again.

"Looks like I've caught quite the prize." He cooed down at her, not even bothered by her struggling. Mabel looked at her, before rearing her head back and spitting in his face.

"I said let go!" She screamed at him.

Had the town already escaped? She couldn't hear the sounds of footsteps or the cries of panic. All she could hear was the crackle of flames as the town burned around them. Her heart raced a mile a minute, and Mabel was still struggling as she tried to break away.

"You shouldn't have done that." The pirate sneered, wiping away the spit from his face and flicking his fingers to get it off him completely.

"Don't you know you should play nice with your captors?" He sneered, and Mabel pushed at his chest. The pirate turned her around, so she got a perfect view of the shack right as the roof caved in.

"No!" She screamed before she could stop herself, clawing at his arm to get away from him. The pirate laughed, his chin on her shoulder. For him, he had watched her stumble out of the burning home, and it was easy to figure out she lived there.

When the roof caved in and she screamed for the family that she still believed was inside, the pirate laughed. It was fun for him to hold this girl against him and watch her hopes die so suddenly. The best part was watching her start to cry, tears forming and falling before she could do anything.

The pirate leaned forward, kissing and licking her tears away. They reminded him of the spray of water from the sea. While he had only been intent on torturing the poor girl before killing her, the sudden taste of her tears and how beautiful she looked when crying made him decide to keep her. She would make a lovely prize, after all.

"That's enough of that now." The pirate said, pausing for a moment before he threw her over his shoulder like a sack of flour.

At first Mabel was stunned by the wind being knocked out of her as her stomach landed right on his shoulder. She could only lay limp for a moment before she struggled against him, hands pounding against his back and feet kicking. He didn't move for a moment beside a hand on her lower back to keep her in place.

"Now, calm down love, struggling will get you nowhere." He chimed, hand patting her butt for a moment and making Mabel blush scarlet.

"Let me go! Stop I don't want to go with you!" Mabel kept slamming her hands against his back.

"Captain! Found a treat there?" Another pirate asked, coming forward and looking at Mabel. She glared, still struggling.

"That's right boys. Here." He got her off his back, making her head spin he set her on her feet, the sudden movement nearly making her barf. "Take her to my cabin on the ship. If she struggles, feel free to use her and teach her a lesson."

"Aye, captain!" The man gave a feral grin and nodded, grabbing Mabel and already hauling her towards the dock where she had been just a couple hours ago.

"No! Stop!" Mabel didn't know what the pirate captain meant when he talked about a lesson for her, but she was sure she didn't want to find out.

The man grabbed her wrists, binding them together and hauling her to the dock. Behind her the town was on fire, making it almost look like morning instead of night. She protested loudly until the man got fed up, and grabbed another piece of rope to gag her with. As he dragged her to the dock and up to the ship, Mabel had never been more frightened in her life.

* * *

The captain's cabin was nothing to talk about. It was large, with a huge four poster bed and red sheets. The man did seem to have something for the color red, remembering how his coat was the same color of that as well.

Mabel had been dragged in, and untied but left alone in the room. Not that it made a difference that she was alone and untied. The windows wouldn't open and the door was locked. She was basically trapped inside the room, waiting for someone to come and let her out, or even worse, for the captain to come back.

To say he frightened her was an understatement. She hated how he laughed at her, how he licked and kissed away her tears like an animal. She hated how he made her watch her home burn down, how he made her come with him. The prospects of what he might do to her scared her. What was she? Just a prize? Would he hurt her? Become his bedmate? Mabel didn't know and that's what scared her more than anything.

The room didn't have many objects, and Mabel had a hard time finding something that could be used as a weapon. Eventually she found something, and it tested perfectly in her hands, but it was only a small knife.

When the unmistakeable sound of the lock sliding back sounded, Mabel paled a bit. She didn't feel ready for this. She didn't want to face anyone and fight for her freedom. She wanted to be back in bed. Instead the door swung open and the lanky, blonde haired pirate captain stumbled in. She didn't want to do anything, and for a moment he didn't seem to see her. Alcohol reeked from him, and with the eyepatch he actually didn't see her at first. Mabel kept silent as he glanced about, seeming enraged when he didn't see her there.

This opportunity wouldn't last long, and Mabel took it. With a rush she bolted towards the door, scrambling for it for just a second before his hand was in her hair, tearing her away from it. She fell back with a cry, feeling strands getting pulled out and head burning.

"There's my prize! I was worried for a moment that you got a bright idea." He kept a hand in her hair even as she almost fell, since it gave him a bit of leverage.

"Let go!" Mabel couldn't help but think this was worse than when he had first got her. Mabel groaned as he dragged her over to the bed, until she remembered she was holding a knife.

With a flourish and a flick of her wrist, Mabel moved the knife and slashed it against the back of his hand right as he let go of her hair. The pirate let out a muffled curse, back handing her hard and grabbing the knife. She wasn't any match for the pirates brute strength.

"Good try, but I think it looks much better pressed against here, don't you?" He held the knife to her throat, causing her to cease all movement.

Mabel couldn't breath, she couldn't think. Below the bed she could feel the boat rock with the movements of sea, and some part of her mind recognized that they must be out at sea by now. Her back was against the bed as The pirate pressed the knife more against her throat, giving her the option of moving or her neck being sliced.

From knee down her feet dangled off the side of the bed, and the pirate between them, hovering over her. Suddenly, Mabel realized what a compromising position this was for them. Her back pressed against the bed, her knees slightly apart with this man standing between them. Looking up at him, she was able to see the intention in his eyes.

"No, no, anything but this." She could feel a line of blood appearing on her neck from where the pirate held the knife against her neck.

"Name's Bill Cipher. Remember it, I won't say it again." With one arm he managed to shrug off his coat, leaving him in black pants and a large white shirt. Mabel was still only in her nightgown, and she had the sudden thought that she wouldn't be in it for much longer.

"Please, Bill, not this." He moved over, hovering over her. Mabel's hands came up to try to shove him away, but it was like pushing a wall, and every movement of hers sent pain as the knife cut into her neck.

"I'm just claiming my prize." He smirked darkly, before pouncing on her the way a loon would its prey, with no mercy.

* * *

Perhaps it was the fact he woke up the next morning and she was still there. Not that he expected her to be anywhere else, but he did wonder if she would take the cowards exit and throw herself overboard. It wouldn't have been the first time it happened.

Perhaps it was the fact she was still sleeping, and her face still seemed twisted with pain. He only had his shirt on, and her nightgown had been hiked up past her hips, and tear stains still on her face. There's a thin trail of blood that dried from her throat, and there rests a thin, but still there, cut. Her hands clutch the sheets and she whimpered with a nightmare, and Bill felt a twinge of pity go through him.

The sun had just started to rise, and with it he rose as well, tugging the blanket over her before he dressed and went up to his crew. They talked of conquests and what they did during the night, and for once Bill didn't join them in that.

It was evening when he returned, coming back to his cabin to see the girl not lying on the bed like he expected, but curled up in the corner of the room. Bill is struck by the realization of how _tiny_ she is, as he almost looked her over when searching for her. Seeing her like that, knees pressed against her chest and as small as possible, cause another sliver of guilt to go through him. Though he couldn't say he knew what that emotion was before. All Bill knew was that he wanted it to stop.

The pirate couldn't place his finger on why she was different. Not when she should be like any other conquest he had before. Maybe it was because the realization struck for once that the damage upon her was all his doing, nothing else. That none of this wouldn't have happened if she hadn't come rushing out of a fire that he started. The cut on her neck and the bruises on her body, but most importantly the fear in her eyes, it was all his fault. It shouldn't bother him as much as it did, but the guilt he felt gnawed at him.

"C'mere, lass." He kneeled in front of her, watching her flinch away from him. Who could blame her? He ignored her begging before, she was probably terrified he would hurt her again.

When she didn't move, he reached out and grabbed her hand, his black gloves smooth against her skin. She flinched again when contact was made, and Bill could feel how tense she was. That sliver of guilt grew a bit more.

"What's your name?" He tugged a bit, but she was unwilling to move, and so he sat down in front of her, legs crossed and waiting.

She didn't respond, she didn't say a word. "Ya can't stay silent forever." He teased, and the girl pulled her arm away, crossing them over her chest and glaring as though saying 'try me'. Bill had every intention of pushing her buttons to get her to talk.

"Guess I'll just have to keep giving you nicknames until you tell me your real name." Bill lamented, sitting back.

"Sweet pea?" Bill tried, and Mabel looked shocked before she shook her head. At least they had some kind of communication up.

"Can you read and write, angel?" She made a face at the name, shaking her head. Bill waited, and she shook her head again, showing she didn't know.

"That's normal. No sense in teaching a woman things." Bill teased, as she seemed like the kind of girl to get angry at that. Sure enough, her face showed surprise before she actually reached over and smacked his arm, paying and backing up a moment later when she realized just what she did.

"Calm down, lass. What're you gonna do, nag me to death?" He teased. She pouted and relaxed when she realized he wasn't going to hurt her for the smack.

"You're weak like a little kitten, I ain't gonna hurt ya for nothing." He left the implication open that he would hurt her later if she did something worse.

He looked at her curiously, seeing how she still only wore her nightgown, obviously not venturing to his closet for more clothes. If he had been her, he wouldn't have either. Bill rose from his spot on the floor, going through the drawers and getting a pair of pants and shirt for her.

"Guess you'll need some food too." Bill sighed as though it was the worse thing ever. He turned and left, giving her the opportunity to change without him looking at her.

When he came back with water and a piece of bread for her, she was still in the corner, but now in the new outfit. She held her nightgown against her chest, though Bill didn't understand why she didn't put it away. Though he supposed it was because she didn't have a place to put it. Nothing in here was really hers.

The pirate grabbed her arm, leading her to a chair and putting some food in her lap. He couldn't think of anything to say to her. What did one say to someone when you're responsible for all the pain in their life? He had nothing to say, as he knew nothing would make it better.

"Go to sleep." His voice wasn't a request, it was a demand. The girl looked up at him from her spot in the chair, and didn't say anything. Not that Bill expected her to say anything.

Strangely enough, his bed felt colder than he remembered it to be. Maybe it was because he had the hazy memory of waking up beside her in his bed. The girl doesn't say anything as she curled up in the chair, and soon it's not the rocking of the wave against the boat that fill the sound of the cabin, but the sounds of her soft snores from the chair. Bill has managed to sleep through battles and on rocks and sand, but the sounds of her snores keep him awake.

When he can't take it anymore, he rose, picking the girl up and placing her in bed. She deserved a good night's rest. Bill went and tucked her in, and sat in the chair himself. It was going to be a long night for him.

* * *

She couldn't say what it was that made her pick up the sudden silence. Mabel knew Bill wanted her to speak, and when she had so little, silence was suddenly such a powerful weapon. Mabel didn't say a word even as days turned to weeks and weeks turned to months. She didn't say a word even when the rest of the crew started to get to know her and accept her as one of their own, and called her nicknames to make up for her lack of name.

She didn't question why he would give up the bed he had for her to sleep. Nor did she question the ways of the ship. She learned that Bill loved the color yellow, even if he boasted about red like it was his favorite. Mabel thought yellow was better for him, as it reminded her of the sun, and he was so like the sun.

She also didn't think about how she was becoming used to her new life. How after that first night things were tense, but they made due. What was Mabel to him if not his bedmate? She didn't know, nor was she certain she would find out. What they had was fragile, careful, and Mabel didn't want to ruin it and neither did Bill.

Touch was something they didn't know how to handle. Mabel would still flinch at the occasional contact that Bill gave her, whether it was a steadying hand on her so she wouldn't topple overboard, or the way he kept a firm hand on her waist when they went off the ship. Mabel didn't understand why he seemed to think she would run, why he wanted her by his side. It wasn't as though she had the money or means to get home. She had nothing but the kindness offered to her now.

"When ya gonna end this not talking turn ya on?" One of the crew asked, looking at Mabel as she ate with them. She shrugged, paying more attention to the soup she was eating than the conversation.

"She ain't ever gonna talk to your ugly mug!" The one next to Mabel laughed, nudging her. She grinned, showing her delight. The crew had been quick to warm up to her when she showed she could be useful with knitting and sewing. She was more than happy to do any chores for them, as long as they were nice.

"I'll bring ya a present the next time we at port, will I get a thank ya then?" One nudged her. Mabel covered her mouth to stifle a giggle, nodding her acceptance.

"That be it! I'll bring ya the cutest thing a girl can want, and then ya finally tell us your name." The pirates nodded, and Mabel suddenly felt like a family. A strange family, but a family none the less.

It became a game. The pirates would go into port and out and about to town and come back with little gifts for her. Most were small, little items she quickly began keep and collect on the nightstand by the bed. Sometimes they came back with gowns she wore with pride, as new clothes were always a favorite. She figured they wanted to curry her favor, but she didn't really mind, as it kept her well liked on the ship.

Though it was Bill who never brought her back anything. She figured it should be enough that he let her sleep in the bed alone, that he let her have free time and that she wasn't kept a complete prisoner. It was all she needed from him, though she wanted so much more out of life.

It was late one night when she couldn't sleep. Bill was snoring softly with his feet on the desk, hat over his face to block out the light. The rocking of the ship normally acted like her lullaby, and yet on this night it did nothing to soothe her. She got out of bed, bare feet padding away on the wooden planks. She crept by Bill as to not wake him, heading up on deck.

At this time, only a few people were awake. The man in the crowd nest, and the man at the helm. She waved to both, but didn't do anything else besides that. After a moment of walking she was at the bow of the ship, watching it slice through the water with ease and hardly causing a ripple through the dark water.

Back at her old home she could never see the stars as clearly as she could out on the ship. This night they were wonderful, sparkling images that dances across the night. When she first came to see her brother, and speak with him to catch up on years of being apart, they would sit on the roof of the shack and he would point out every constellation he knew. Once, Dipper told her he would learn them all, just so he would be able to tell her every one.

Now she could look at them and remember what they were. Though only one mattered to her. It shone bright in the sky, twinkling down at her and capturing all her interest. Mabel stared up at it as the salted spray of ocean water hit her face gently. Was her brother even alive anymore? Did he survive the fire and Bill's rampage on her village?

She didn't know. Mabel didn't realize she was crying until suddenly there was a hand on her back, keeping her steady as they went over a rough patch of water. Bill could walk as quietly as her, and she turned her gaze from the stars to see the pirate there. The hand that wasn't on her back went to cup her cheek, brushing away the few stray tears that ran from her eyes.

"What're you doing up, lass? Why're you crying?" Bill asked quietly.

Her silence was not yet ready to end. Perhaps it was how she grieved for the family she was sure was dead and the home she knew. Maybe it was because she was tired of speaking and not being listened to anymore. Bill thought the reason why her silence bothered him so much was because the last time he heard her speak was her begging him to stop.

Unable to speak, Mabel shook her head, brushing away his hand and leaning back from the pirate. That's all he was, a pirate who took and took and never gave. Mabel herself felt as though she could hand the man the world on a silver platter and he would still want more. It didn't matter she felt her heart drop a little when he looked sad that she pulled away.

"Which are your favorite?" He eventually asked, gesturing up at the stars. The night was warm, and Mabel didn't even mind when the cold water came up to spray them with mist once more. It was like getting kissed, all over her skin.

She didn't hesitate, pointing right up at the sky where the Big Dipper was as clear as day. Before all this and she lost her brother, Mabel would have pointed out Orion, which was the only other one she knew by heart. Dipper said his was always Perseus,

"That one?" Bill pointed up at the Big Dipper as well. Mabel nodded, ignoring more of her tears as they sprung to her eyes. "The Big Dipper. The handle points to the North Star." He showed her, turning her easily to see the star across the horizon. His hand was still on her back to keep her steady as the boat rocked underneath them.

"Lass?" Mabel looked from the stars, over at Bill instead. He was staring at her with something she couldn't identify. Mabel wasn't sure she wanted to know what he saw in her.

"I never said sorry, for that night." His voice is soft and quiet, and he turned away from her gaze. "I took you from your home, I burned your town to the ground, I did something terrible to you, and I shouldn't have." His hand tightened around her.

Mabel tried to pull away, but couldn't. This was too much for her. Was he really sorry? Did he mean it? Mabel felt the tears this time as they poured down her cheeks, and she was sobbing suddenly. Making the most noise she had made since that first night. One of her hands went to brush her tears away while her other hand went to push him away. Bill didn't budge an inch, even when her pushing became shoving, and her fist pounded against his chest. Her sobs and tears were harsh and brutal, shoulder shaking as she let out all the emotions she had been feeling since the beginning.

Bill let her do all of that, let her hit him and work out what she was feeling. Until finally her tears tapered off and she was shaking, panting and hands clinging to his coat. Bill pulled her close, running a hand through her long chocolate colored hair and glad her crying spell was over.

"I don't have a reason for why I did it. There's no excuse that would make this better." He murmured, hand rubbing her back while he spoke. "I'm sorry."

Mabel didn't speak. Her mouth opened and closed a few times as though to speak, but nothing came out. Her silence wasn't ready to end yet, and Mabel didn't want to push it. She buried her face against his chest, his shirt soaked because of her tears and such. After a while of standing there, Bill pulled away and tilted her face up, brushing her tears away.

"Time for bed, love, go on." He finally let her go, and Mabel stood there for a moment, before shaking her head. Bill raised his brows, but didn't question her.

"Fine, fine. Will you go if I come too?" He asked after a moment. Mabel thought for a moment before she nodded,

Bill wrapped his arm around her, which seemed like a habit at this point, and started to walk lead her down below deck once more. She missed home, she missed her brother. Yet now she was starting to think of the ship and even Bill as home. How could she think of him like that, when he had done so much to her in the time he knew her? She was meant to hate him.

Mabel didn't though, and as they got to the cabin and Bill let her go, she found herself holding onto the sleeve of coat. The same coat that was blood red even though she still thought the color yellow suited him better. Bill gave her a questioning glance, but doesn't protest as she brings him over to the bed, making him lay down while she cuddled against him. Bill doesn't say anything still as she settled down and wrapped his arm around her. With his warm body cuddling with her, Mabel was finally able to fall asleep.

* * *

Seasons change, and so do people. Mabel knits sweaters for the entire crew during the winter, and makes sure Bill's is bright yellow and not red like he asked for. He still wore it, despite how he still complained.

"No one's going to take me seriously wearing this!" He told her, but groaned upon seeing her pout and cross her arms. He kept wearing it.

He still wore it when the crew arrived at port. It was a cold night, and Mabel found herself sitting on the bow of the ship while everyone had a fun party out on the deck. A couple of the crew got some old instruments out, playing a joyful tune. Out on the town a couple of the Pirates brought back ladies, and they danced on the deck of the ship while the light of the sun faded and the stars came out. Mabel sat on the railing and clapped her hands with the beat, laughing and smiling as she watched the crew stumble over their feet and woo the ladies they brought.

It wasn't long before the captain of the crew came next to her, offering her a hand with a sly smile. He had left his sweater behind and instead picked up his coat, but Mabel didn't mind as she giggled and took his hand.

The song was unlike anything she had heard at home, but that didn't matter as Bill didn't seem to know the steps either. Still he tried his best while she did as well, and they danced until the song ended and they were both panting and exhausted and smiling like fools. People cheered around them as the song ended and Mabel had a brief chance to realize that they were the only ones dancing. She didn't even mind, all her focus on Bill as her chest rose and fell with panting breaths, and his chest did the same, occasionally brushing against her own.

Her cheeks were flushed, and his breath floated out into the night air before them. Bill leaned forward and pressed his lips against hers before she could pull away, or make any notion of a protest. Mabel stiffened at the kiss, before relaxing, deciding that if all he wanted was a kiss, then she could handle a kiss.

"Sorry lass." He mumbled when he pulled away from her, cheeks flushed the same color as his coat. "I don't regret that though."

Mabel didn't regret it either. She kissed him again.

* * *

After the first night where she cried and they watched the stars for a little bit, Bill started sleeping next to her in bed. Mabel didn't mind so much, and he always waited for her to make some kind of sign she wanted him there. Sometimes he slept on the chair, or she moved and slept on the floor. Bill never pushed her on it.

The winter chill still gets at her when she untangles herself from Bill and goes to stand up on the deck as she did months ago. How long has she been living on this ship? How long since she had been back at her old village to check and see if her brother was alive? Or her uncle? Mabel only knew the world as the seasons pass by, and can only guess how long it's been. A part of her recognizes that it's no longer the village she grew up in that's her home, but the ship. The crew is her new family, but she still misses her brother more than anything.

Mabel shivered at the cold air, feeling the chilled boards of the deck underneath her feet. She moved and went to the bow, staring up at the stars and everything there. She wished she could go and visit her old home once more, but that would require speaking. How long would she keep her silence for? She wasn't ready to speak.

The biting breeze made her shiver, until suddenly there was a warm cloak wrapped around her. Instinctively she pulled it tightly around her, looking up at Bill as he stood next to her.

"Ya gonna freeze out here, lass. What're you doing up?" He asked, while Mabel just shrugged.

"Still not talking?" He eventually asked, wrapping an arm around her when she still shivered.

Mabel leaned against him as they watched the stars. Mabel smiled when she saw a shooting star, tugging on Bill's sleeve and pointing at it just before the star disappeared.

"Shooting star?" Bill asked, frowning for a second before he looked down at Mabel, watching her screw her eyes shut as she made a wish. He chuckled and shook his head, not making a wish himself.

"Since ya still not talking, that's what I'll call ya. You'll be my shooting star." He poked her nose, smiling when he saw her scrunch her nose up at the feeling.

Mabel blushed at the nickname, shaking her head. The name she had became something precious to her when she stopped speaking, no one here knew it. It was her own secret, something she kept to herself. It was the only thing that was truly hers. She didn't mind the nickname he gave her though. Mabel nodded to his words, pointing out another shooting star when it passed.

They stayed like that for a long while, until Mabel could hardly keep her eyes open and she couldn't stand on her own. She leaned against Bill, glad he had come up to talk to her.

"Bed time for you, shooting star." He murmured when the red tint of the sun started to peek over the horizon. Mabel could only nod as he picked her up, carrying back to the cabin. She was asleep before he even got down there.

* * *

When she silently asked Bill where they were going, he told her it was a surprise. Destinations they went to were never a surprise before, so Mabel is quite excited when he made her stay below deck until they arrived. She gets the opportunity to see the whole world with Bill, and Mabel has already seen more than she ever dreamed she would. She has seen tropical islands where it's warm all year, she has seen glaciers fall and float in the water, brushing against the ship, and she has seen people she never thought she would see.

So when Bill came down and told her they had finally arrived, Mabel raced out of the room, excited to see what this new land would bring her. Another adventure? More people? Whatever it was Mabel was excited for the outcome of it. When she got to the deck, most of the crew was already there, getting off, but what she saw made her pause and look with shock at the place she once called home.

"Been two years, star." Bill said from behind her, hand on her back to urge her to the ramp leading down to the dock. The dock that she last saw while it was on fire. Mabel walked down it with Bill, feeling as though she was a stranger.

"Thought it time to bring ya back." He gave her a little nudge towards the town that didn't look the same.

It wasn't her home anymore, but that wasn't what she meant. The buildings had been burned to ashes, and scorch marks on the ground still littered the ground. It seemed as though it was the only thing that remained the same from her time. The buildings that were there now looked like the old ones, but some were taller, some were different colors. It was too different.

The layout is still the same, and soon she found herself walking down the same old trail. She nearly jumped out of her skin when the sound of hooves beat on the trail behind her. The chestnut brown horse stops inches from her, with Bill grinning down at her.

"You left before I could stop ya." He reached down and pulled her on the horse, right behind him where she wrapped her arms around his waist. Then they were galloping off, down the trail faster than she would have been walking.

Before she could think they were outside the remains of the shack. Mabel slid off the horse to look down at the ashes which sat in a pile and untouched. It sat in a circle, untouched by anyone. Mabel swore she could still smell the smoke and feel the heat. Though as she walked forward there was nothing but cold, lifelessness.

"This was your home, wasn't it?" Bill asked, getting off the horse as well. Mabel didn't answer, not that she wanted to.

She walked across the ashes, board breaking underneath her feet as she looked at everything. To her left was the remains of her great uncle's favorite arm chair, and muscle memory told her that the stairs would have been to her right. She followed them, going through her mind the layout of the house until she stands where her and Dipper's room would have been.

Bill stood to the side, leaning against the horse and unwilling to disturb her time searching the ashes. Mabel picked through the debris but is unable to find anything worth saving. She figured someone would have come and searched through the ashes to pick out anything of value, and hopefully gave her brother and uncle a funeral.

Mabel eventually moved back from the wreckage, hands and feet dirty with soot and grime. She didn't look at Bill, climbing on the horse and barely giving Bill time to get on before she was racing off into the woods once more, one more destination in mind.

Bill clung to the girl, hardly able to hang on as she urged the horse faster and faster. What started as a trot quickly became a gallop through the woods, until the horse was breathing hard and going as fast as it could.

"Slow down, star!" Bill shouted into her ear, but was ignored. Mabel didn't let the horse have a break until they got to the destination she wanted them at.

The graveyard had expanded since she had been there last. Mainly due to the fire, but people did die of natural causes. Yet the names she passed all had the same date written on them. She had only come looking for two, and found so many more in the process.

 _Susan Wentowrth, loving mother and cook._

 _Tyler Cutebiker, beloved mayor of the town._

 _Dan Corduroy, father and protector._

 _Wendy Corduroy, may she rest with her mother._

 _Stanley Pines, cherished uncle and brother._

 _Stanford Pines, may he answer all of life's questions._

 _"Dipper" Pines, who died too young. May he see the world in heaven with his sister._

She herself didn't have a tombstone, not yet. There was an empty plot next to her brother that seemed to be waiting for her, and Mabel hoped she could be buried here with her brother always by her side. She traced the etching of her twins name, wishing it had been her instead.

"Pines." Bill read from behind her, finally catching up. "Oh." He mumbled when the realization of what he was staring at dawned on him.

Oh? That was all he had to say? When he took everything from her and expected her to care for him? When he seemed to change and gave her a new nickname, when he didn't throw her overboard and wore the sweater she knitted him? What was Mabel to do? All she felt like she could do was rest her forehead against the cold tombstone, trying not to cry.

"I'm sorry, star." The pirate eventually murmured. Mabel turned her gaze, even though it was full of tears.

"I hate you." Her voice cracked from disuse, but the words still came out clear enough to be heard. "I hate you. You took them from me! You took my brother..." She hung her head, a harsh sob passing her lips before she was on her feet, fists pounding against his chest.

"I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!" She was like a child throwing a tantrum, but it was the only thing she could think to do. Bill didn't stop her, or even stumble at her hits, taking them all with stride.

"I know you do." He mumbled. He hated himself too, and like that night so long ago when they first watched the stars, he held her when her anger faded and only tears were left.

"I want my brother back." She eventually muttered. Yet what could she do to get him back? Her brother was buried six feet under the ground, hopefully in a better place.

Bill didn't say anything to her words. Perhaps he thought he couldn't say anything to that. He would have been right. Mabel stood in the graveyard and realized most of the recent graves were all his fault, all from that same night. He was the reason she would never get a hug from her brother again, or see Wendy laugh at a bad joke. He was the reason why the town wasn't the same, why the diner was gone, why they had to elect a new mayor. Bill was the reason for so much grief in the world.

Yet he was also the man who held her when she cried, who didn't hurt her after that first night. He was the one who complained about her sweaters and still wore the one she made him. He was the pirate who didn't let others hurt her, who chose not to kill her like he did with everyone else. It had been two years since that night, and Mabel found out a lot could change in two years.

"My name is Mabel." She murmured eventually, when the sun started to sink below the horizon and her head rested on his chest. She could hear his heartbeat.

"Mabel Pines." Bill repeated the name softly to himself. "I like the name shooting star better, but I suppose that fits as well."

Mabel couldn't help but laugh a little, shaking her head and pulling away the slightest. She never had the will to give up, and Mabel supposed it wasn't the worse thing in the world that Bill came along. Things could be a lot worse, and Mabel has grown to care for her pirate. She took his hand, and laced her fingers with his, smiling a bit.

"Well, captain, let's go home." It would take a while to get used to using her voice again. Her reign of silence finally felt like it could end. Bill didn't seem to mind, leading her over the chestnut brown horse he most certainly didn't steal.

"As long as you're with me shooting star, any place is home."


End file.
